Hello
I have been working out for years now. lost tons of weight regained it after my kid and few months ago got back into the grove again. The reason im poting is because Monday sept 3rd we found my dad dead and passed away in his sleep at only 50 yrs old. I have been having a hard time with it and the gym and ideo games were my most 2 stress relivers that helped. But now video games are still helping but i have the motivation to go to the gym the problem is i cant focus. i cant lift the weight i need to, i cut sets short along with weight amount. i dont even finish my routine. my mind is racing and that all i can think of and i cant focus and have no motivation to even try to push just settle for doing.
on top of it he had no insurance so now my poor mom has to find a way to pay the 6k out of pocket for the funeral. but thats a total diffrent matter that some of my family is trying to get help through gofund me. but this post is not about that its about my motivation.
Little backround story. my dad was very unhealthy and drank alot. i do not drink and i didnt aprove of his. no examination so we will never know the real cause of death but i belive the drinking and mediccations ut him in a deep sleep he wouldnt wake up for and was chewing tobacco and sufficated to death. im not sure if that true but its what i think. So basically he wasnt sick it just happened out of the blue and no one expected it. I am non religous and please do not remark on it because i do not judge peole that are and i resppect there belifs. He was religious tho and belived he would come back as an animal. that being said with me not beliving in the same things as him and i dont belive he can see me and view down on me and see anything more i have to accomplish has made me lost motivation because The first time i lst all my weight he was very proud and he kind of started to work on being healthier to he gave up a little b ut wass till 70lb less that he originally was. This time around i thoguht that maybe if i could do it it would inspire him to try again and more and now that cant happen and it just seems to eat away at me. i always did it for me and i love being fit but deep down inside i felt like it kinda helped him to.
So with the small backstory and stuff if anyone has anything similar please feel free to comment and help me figure out how to get my motivation back or will it just take some time?
Sorry for the long message